I'm Alone and It's Awesome

While on the train a few weeks ago, I noticed this lady holding and reading a book in her hands. Nothing much different from the ordinary except that, the title of the book immediately captured my attention. "How to Be Alone" by Sarah Maitland, thoughts in my head suddenly went bouncing back and forth like lotto balls. I was like, who would want to be alone? and more so, why write a book teaching people how to be alone? That's quite a terrible gift to give to someone or even to buy for yourself. Only people who wants priesthood or becoming monks for a vocation would want to have that.

The book was that compelling to me that I decided to have a copy and began reading it. The author's opening introduction right away touches the questions I had in mind the moment I saw that lady from the train. It presents the readers the author's gains and experiences about her taste of solitude from her own personal life accounts. Her issues with separations and living a life alone as a writer. 

Indulging oneself into a life of solitude is met with a lot of criticism and even viewed as a serious cultural problem in the present times, it raises questions about identity and well-being, the author continues. A person engaging in such form of activity is subject to be labeled as sad, mad, and bad. He spent a life of solitude because he is sad and therefore he is becoming mad for doing so. If he isn't sad, then most probably he is bad, a psychopath. The book primarily covers a short history to define and understand the path how our present society evolved oddly in discriminating people who would rather choose to live a life of solitude. From the Romans political civilization and the struggles of the early Christians to pursue a different set of values opposite to the Romans.

The critics of silence find the desire for it as madly, for reasons that it is unnatural for humans to live a lonely life, humans are designed to belong to a pack and to deviate to such is simply ill. It is pathological, man ideally needs the intimacy that can be found in a relationship. It is necessary to health and happiness. Being alone can be dangerous, if something happens to you even in a mild accident, there will be no one there to save you. The list continues from being antisocial, an escapist where a person runs away from the realities of life and living a life of fantasy, and to be selfish person whom only want to seek his own pleasures and feeding his ego.

Though I haven't fully finished reading the book, the question now is, did the author convinced me to be a follower of solitude or for that matter accepted the fact on how to be alone? In many instances, "FEAR" was emphasized by the author as the driving force why many would rather choose not to experience a life in solitude. Fear to be labeled by the social critics. Fear of being discriminated from what is considered normal by most of the civilized world. However, the author stresses that "KNOWLEDGE" is the best antidote to fear and to which I agree. We tend to fear what we don't really know and that becomes our anxiety leading to a more negative self realization that may further lead to our own destruction.

At some point, we needed to switch off our buttons and just be alone with ourselves. To temporarily escape from the chaos and to reprogram our minds into our inner peace so that when we come back into the world of realities, we are refreshed and ready to face the challenges one more time. Being in solitude as the author suggested doesn't need to really go into isolation, we can learn to be alone with ourselves reading a book, taking some coffee, listening to music, a kind of meditation that puts the mind and the body at ease.

Most importantly, and this I fully agree with the author, to be in solitude, it should be freely chosen and not forced on you to be beneficial. After going through solitude, the author began to appreciate more her family, loved more. Secondly, you must have full knowledge and understanding of yourself. So while the author engaged into full solitude, I on the other hand, believe in taking things into moderation. I love to be in touch with my family and some close friends of mine. But even so, I have this deep feeling that we are born to be alone and we will leave this world alone.

Til next time!

I've got the bug

My dear readers, I apologized for being away for sometime. I got caught up with some kind of flu and I am still having this bad cough that just seem to linger for awhile. I'm pretty much fine now, except for this cough which is a total turn-off I guess. Leaves me barking like a dog at night, which I find it hard to sleep. I only see one good thing about it, I find a way to keep the burglars off my place.

Having a cough is so irritating to say the least. I feel like swallowing my whole arm and reach down inside my throat just to scratch that itchy sensation that just won't go away. When it strikes, it's like having that electric drill inside my body and that everything I touched vibrates with it. I can't keep my fingers steady on the keyboard and I lost track of my regular weekly exercises. 

I went to see a doctor and she prescribed me the usual stuff, you know, those round lozenges wrapped like medicines in a foil, a cough syrup with no label, probably containing special formula, mixed in this cylindrical white container, and some extra anti-inflammatory meds for my possibly swelling throat due to coughing. 

Feeling like the real chosen one coming out of the doctor's clinic, I walk with a little pride of the stuff that I got from her. Walking like a boss, as if telling everyone "Hey, look!? see this small plastic bag? it has cough syrup and lozenges in it different from the ones you got from the ordinary over the counter meds. It has special powers specifically made for me. This will take away my cough and flu in no time. So bleed with envy" Two weeks have passed and I am still coughing. Went over the counter and bought the old trusted brand.

Hopefully, I'll feel better by next week. I have an upcoming and interesting topic to share with you guys. I wish you will all find it something amusing and worth reading. Who knows, you'll be learning something new as well. So stay put and keep safe everyone OK? Don't let the flu bug get near you :)

Till next time!

Welcoming A New Kid in Town

A close friend of mine invited me to be the godfather to his son's baptism last Sunday. It was done under the Catholic rites so a priest was the one that administers the baptismal. I became the instant photographer that day as my friend's assigned official photographer was late. To make that more specific, I was the substitute photographer, but it was such a pleasure for me to be a part of that very special day for him and his family. 

Easter Candle

 I couldn't recall how many times I was invited to be the godfather to my friend's sons or daughters. I guess that made me officially a good choice for a "godfather material" friend. 

The only problem with it though is that, I couldn't remember all of their faces, once when they were still babies and right so when some of them were already grown-up. But I think on the hindsight, I could be at the right advantage here for having an appropriate excuse for missing their birthdays, holiday visits and those other gift giving events *smirk* --- just kidding of course =D.

The thing is, if you have attended once or before a Catholic baptismal rite, there are in fact hidden meanings to the things that are being used during the rites. Here are some few trivia.

Assembly. this refers to the whole church members, family, friends and godparents who were present in the church to welcome the baby to the Christian community.

Baptismal promises. parents and godparents gather around the child to proclaim their promises to the child and their belief in the baptismal rites usually inscribed along the Apostle's creed.

Water. the priest pours water over the baby's head as a sign of cleansing the sins. It also symbolizes life, of physical life and of spiritual life into which the baptized person enters into.

Baptismal candle. the candles were lit from the Easter candle which symbolized Christ as the light of the world. The eyes of the baptized child have opened to the light of creation and by the flame of faith which will guide her through the rest of the child's life.

White garment. symbolized the child's new life in Christ. The color white speaks of life's purity, a new life and innocence. 

Finally, the Role of godparents. godparents represent as the second parent to the child. When the parents of the child died prematurely, or becoming irresponsible, the godparents could step-in for the welfare of the child. To nurture the child's faith towards a better Christian living. 

So becoming a godparent to the child doesn't end after the photo sessions are over or when all the coffees and cookies are gone. There are big shoes to fill in the life of the child besides just giving Christmas and birthday gifts every year. Being a godparent, really means becoming a good role model for the child, supporting his or her developments both in faith and his moral upbringing.

There you go. Til next time :)

Dress code: Formal

Waking up quite late on a Monday morning, bright sunshine lit and filled the room from the window next to my bed. I can hear the sounds of the wind in the trees, leaves rustles and birds gleeful songs that already occupied the empty park outside.

Nothing so special about this day so I said to myself, just the normal routine of a simple man like myself. Funny that I used to count the days as it comes by but now everything seems to be in an enclosed capsule where time doesn't exist and everything else is moving so slowly like in a slow motion state.

While slouching over the sofa trying to figure out what’s going to be my itinerary for the day and hoping not to get tangled into some paralysis by analysis, I was surprised to hear my phone ringing coming from my room. It took me for a while to identify that it was from my phone because I normally set it on vibrate mode, but by some twist of fate, I set the sounds on and with a thought of giving it a try. I am surely certain that I have lost track of the tunes that goes with it and I just want to make sure it still does sound good the way it was made to be.

With eagerness, I quickly rose from the couch and went to pick-up the phone, I stared shortly at it and with some bit of anxiousness as I try to figure out who this number was before I blurted out the word “Hello?!...”. Then a soft and gentle voice of a lady came out of the opposite line confirming my name and the resume that I’ve sent over to her email address. She informed me of an interview to be scheduled the next day at 11am. I thought it was one of those credit card agents, but to my relief, I gladly agreed on the schedule and sincerely thanked the lady. I confirmed the email she sent through my personal email address and I was left with an ecstatic feeling for the rest of the day as if I’ve won some $100 from the lotto.

I’m not really into a suit and tie or the business attire, I just don’t feel comfortable wearing one. I’m a regular dude who’s into shirts and jeans and maybe some casual clothing when just heading for work. I’m in the manufacturing and technical sector for a long time now and that’s usually the dress code so it’s not really a big deal. Except this day is my interview and it was required from the email confirmation, and so I headed to my closet and searched for my trusty business attire minus the tie. I chose to wear a light blue long sleeves and tucked it in a khaki chino pants then paired that with my old durable brown leather boots which I polished the night before. I stood in front of the mirror and did a final check of myself with a few minutes remaining. Feeling like a big time buffoon, I quickly grab my house keys and walk my way towards the nearest bus stop and took a bus towards the interview venue.

With my mind preoccupied with the how's and what's of the interview, I suddenly realized that I left my phone back home. I thought that it’s going to be least of my worries since I’m pretty much self-assured that my name will be registered as an expected guest for this interview event most probably at the reception area, or so I thought. It turns out after I arrived at my destination, that’s about 3-5min before 11am, the building houses many offices with different firms even though it’s all under one company name. How am I going to know that, when all the details are in my phone through my email?! Worse, I am so dependent on my phone.

I wasn’t ready to push the panic button yet, I told myself, “go check your name on the guest list” which I did, but the guard at the reception told me that it’s not their usual practice, they always go by whoever was your contact person. Strike two, again, I don’t have the name or couldn’t remember the name of the contact person. My panic button is now reaching boiling point, but I’m still trying to keep my cool. I have one final attempt, I’ve asked the receptionist to allow me to make an outside call to contact my friend and ask for help to open my email address but just like moments before a disaster, the phone call turned in vain as I couldn’t contact my friend, strike 3. With my panic button now reaching the super hot lava level, I have no choice but to press the button. I left the company without any means to contact my interviewer and to inform her. This is the first time that happened to me.

Still feeling determined, I’ve searched for computer shops nearby, but couldn’t find one, and in the end, I succumbed to the defeat. I left took another bus and head back home, now I feel like a real buffoon. All those preparations for nothing. Upon reaching home, I contact my interviewer, apologized and found out she was also trying to contact me. I’ve requested for a reschedule which she gladly offered in the afternoon on the same day.

Bottom line, I’ve learned that, to always save or write down the details immediately and keep it somewhere safe, maybe inside your wallet or bag that you’re going to bring with you on the day of the interview. It’s better to have a copy than nothing at all. Low tech is still the king!

:)

Was it change or just temporary?

It's almost a month now after I quit my current job. I now considered that an item for the old chest. Working and leaving my so called life's bread and butter wasn't that all easy, specially when time starts to show how harsh it can get and how it can leave you defenseless to emotional scars. My mind keeps going back and forth with "what ifs" until finally all you can do is just to give in.

It wasn't that I am forced to change my job, but rather I was presented an offer to work on a different field which I have always wanted to do. To try my foot on different pastures and wander just to see how far and green these pastures are for me. I am always open for changes, to me the challenges it present will always be an added experience and a big item in my quest for life's big box of chocolates. Maybe, I'll discuss more about this new offer when the time comes on a separate topic.

We cannot escape making big decisions in our lives, this is just like day and night, it is there and you'll just have to accept and prepare yourself whenever it turns knocking at your door one day. Certain events, whether good or catastrophic, birth of a child, wedding, going to different places, losing someone, new career changes and the list could go on. Mine came end of June this year and I have to make quick decisions whether to jump into the opportunity or stay. So like the real follower of Aristotle's principle about knowing thyself, I grab this opportunity as something new, kinda exciting, worth to learn.

I've decided to end my connection with my current job when August comes, so July went into much preparation and then executing the plan. I prepared my resignation letter, signed and folded neatly into a white envelope and finely scribbled the name of my boss at the back. I placed it on top of his crowded table at his cube, after trying to find a room for it before I left my night shift job so that he can read it first thing in the morning. As I am walking towards where the shuttle bus was parked which usually takes us to our home destinations, I cannot contain my mind from imagining how the sequence is going to be, from the time my boss arrived, as he is setting himself and into finding the letter with his amazement or maybe a surprised look on his face, he starts gently or even hurriedly opening the letter out of the envelope then begins reading it...

The cool breeze of the early winds touching my face and the first sight of the morning sun gives me a feeling of calmness amidst this imaginative chaos boiling inside of me while listening to Miley Cyrus song "The Climb". Yes I know, hold down your reactions first, this song was released before the coming out of the "wild" Miley Cyrus, so yes, it's a valid feel good song and you cannot twerk on it.

My body and mind drifts between the reality and the dream land as I struggle to keep awake just in time to reach home and snuggle into my precious bed. It's always a mental and physical fight going home coming from the night shift job and which most of the time fatigue is certainly almost is the winner.

I was in between dreams and nightmare sort of state when I was awaken by a buzzing sound at around 2pm. Feeling a little bit dizzy and groggy, I picked up the phone to answer it and whatever I felt before that just seem to disappear when I heard my boss's voice at the end of the line. He called just to confirm my last day of service, then without another word, he thanked and dropped the phone. I was left staring at the ceiling and thinking whether I was still dreaming or I am just imagining. One thing for sure, I had a hard time going back to sleep afterwards. Another item for my eye bags.

The remaining times I spent with my team were just trying to teach them some tricks of my own in solving some of the common issues we've met along the way. Towards end of my time at work, my sentimental part of me started to kick in, I always have this feeling of attachment to the people and the place that I have worked with specially when having a supportive team such as mine. So seldom you'll find this kind of team in a workplace, so whenever you've found one, it's quite a bitter sweet emotional stir. My team was composed of different people from different places, from the technical side down to the production side, but we get to know and worked together as a good team. I felt a little of the mixed emotions right there.

As I was about to exit my work place, I've met outside another group of our support team and greeted me and trying to convince me to stay back for a short time, whether it was just a gesture or for real they know at the end of the day, I am certain to do my curtain call and survive the new challenges ahead of me. While walking away to do my final adieu, I had this thought popped out somewhere from inside my remaining brain cells "while change is the only permanent thing is this world, permanence is with the presence of a temporary state, so was it change or just temporary?" A state at which the world has both to offer.

:)