Was it change or just temporary?

It's almost a month now after I quit my current job. I now considered that an item for the old chest. Working and leaving my so called life's bread and butter wasn't that all easy, specially when time starts to show how harsh it can get and how it can leave you defenseless to emotional scars. My mind keeps going back and forth with "what ifs" until finally all you can do is just to give in.

It wasn't that I am forced to change my job, but rather I was presented an offer to work on a different field which I have always wanted to do. To try my foot on different pastures and wander just to see how far and green these pastures are for me. I am always open for changes, to me the challenges it present will always be an added experience and a big item in my quest for life's big box of chocolates. Maybe, I'll discuss more about this new offer when the time comes on a separate topic.

We cannot escape making big decisions in our lives, this is just like day and night, it is there and you'll just have to accept and prepare yourself whenever it turns knocking at your door one day. Certain events, whether good or catastrophic, birth of a child, wedding, going to different places, losing someone, new career changes and the list could go on. Mine came end of June this year and I have to make quick decisions whether to jump into the opportunity or stay. So like the real follower of Aristotle's principle about knowing thyself, I grab this opportunity as something new, kinda exciting, worth to learn.

I've decided to end my connection with my current job when August comes, so July went into much preparation and then executing the plan. I prepared my resignation letter, signed and folded neatly into a white envelope and finely scribbled the name of my boss at the back. I placed it on top of his crowded table at his cube, after trying to find a room for it before I left my night shift job so that he can read it first thing in the morning. As I am walking towards where the shuttle bus was parked which usually takes us to our home destinations, I cannot contain my mind from imagining how the sequence is going to be, from the time my boss arrived, as he is setting himself and into finding the letter with his amazement or maybe a surprised look on his face, he starts gently or even hurriedly opening the letter out of the envelope then begins reading it...

The cool breeze of the early winds touching my face and the first sight of the morning sun gives me a feeling of calmness amidst this imaginative chaos boiling inside of me while listening to Miley Cyrus song "The Climb". Yes I know, hold down your reactions first, this song was released before the coming out of the "wild" Miley Cyrus, so yes, it's a valid feel good song and you cannot twerk on it.

My body and mind drifts between the reality and the dream land as I struggle to keep awake just in time to reach home and snuggle into my precious bed. It's always a mental and physical fight going home coming from the night shift job and which most of the time fatigue is certainly almost is the winner.

I was in between dreams and nightmare sort of state when I was awaken by a buzzing sound at around 2pm. Feeling a little bit dizzy and groggy, I picked up the phone to answer it and whatever I felt before that just seem to disappear when I heard my boss's voice at the end of the line. He called just to confirm my last day of service, then without another word, he thanked and dropped the phone. I was left staring at the ceiling and thinking whether I was still dreaming or I am just imagining. One thing for sure, I had a hard time going back to sleep afterwards. Another item for my eye bags.

The remaining times I spent with my team were just trying to teach them some tricks of my own in solving some of the common issues we've met along the way. Towards end of my time at work, my sentimental part of me started to kick in, I always have this feeling of attachment to the people and the place that I have worked with specially when having a supportive team such as mine. So seldom you'll find this kind of team in a workplace, so whenever you've found one, it's quite a bitter sweet emotional stir. My team was composed of different people from different places, from the technical side down to the production side, but we get to know and worked together as a good team. I felt a little of the mixed emotions right there.

As I was about to exit my work place, I've met outside another group of our support team and greeted me and trying to convince me to stay back for a short time, whether it was just a gesture or for real they know at the end of the day, I am certain to do my curtain call and survive the new challenges ahead of me. While walking away to do my final adieu, I had this thought popped out somewhere from inside my remaining brain cells "while change is the only permanent thing is this world, permanence is with the presence of a temporary state, so was it change or just temporary?" A state at which the world has both to offer.

:)